So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Nicole vs. Life
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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