This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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