You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
