Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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