There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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