I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
