I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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