just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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