Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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