East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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