I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
