Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
