I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
