How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
