Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
