kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
