goodnight i made you a song goodbye
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Randomize
