There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
