How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
she smelled like a LAN party
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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