You're so nebulous sometimes
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
