Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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