Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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