I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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