So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
