I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
