lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
