He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I forget how to act sober
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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