i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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