I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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