Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
