i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
