How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
