Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize