Dual....:-)
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
