jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
