so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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