Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
