Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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