I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
