Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
