proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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