theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
