Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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