Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
