Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
