and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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