I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
