Someone shit on the floor
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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