Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
