Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
