how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
