he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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