I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
