Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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