I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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