They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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