come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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