first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
