Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
