i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
