Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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