dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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