im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
