so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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