Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
