i permit you to call me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
