I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
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She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
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I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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